where do i fit?

i know who i want to be, but all the people who fit my image turn out awful. i find people that i want to be like or with so bad, but they dont even know im there. so i follow them around, and try to be their friend, and i thought they didnt notice. yesterday, i was talking with one about new kids. i was saying how fun it is to have new kids at school, because you can make them be your friends (as a joke), and she pipes up and says, "haha, like you did to me!". so i was like, uh-oh, but i just smiled and said "that doesnt count, you arent new!". oh, its so hard to find the right crowd. the good little Christian girls arent crazy enough, and dont talk about stuff i want to talk about, and the crazy, colorful people all seem "bad". it was so much easier in kindergarten when no one needed to have anything in common to be friends. sigh.