thoughts on life

you cant think about life too hard, you might get depressed. it seems like it drags on and on. there is always something to be done, always something to fix, always stuff to turn in. school is never right. there are dozens of books out there on improving your life, and what to live life for and all that junk, but nowhere is there resources for school life. almost my whole day is consumed by school. if I'm not actually at school, then I'm working on homework, if I'm not on homework then I'm fretting about getting projects turned in. i know what i want to do with my life- I've got it all planned out. but right now school is my life- so what do i do? people end their lives all the time, but no one can end their school. school is the most diverse part of my life right now. i have to perfect the balance of what to get involved in and what not to get involved in. everyday i learn a new step to the dance through trial and error. there is always more to do, no one is free. why would anyone want to teach middle school? people say they like the age group, but i could give a hundred accounts of how much the age group doesn't like them. when the halls are packed, you can smell the hate and despair in the air. the lockers have acid dripping from them, from all the dirtiness that gets dumped in there every day. everyone always looks sad or tired, and the ones who dont are even worse. some of them have actually gotten used to the daily grind, and have grown to expect it. its hard to have to hear the peoples conversations whose life is so pain filled that they have to dump all the junk on innocent bystanders. even the kids who look like they have it together are seen spreading hate messages across the lunchroom. they look so perfect next to the "bad" kids, but are they really? people are drowning, and you reach out to help them, but all they know to do is pull you under.